Who are Narcissists?
Do you know a narcissist? From a psychological perspective, there are several characteristics that define a narcissistic person. They are extremely egotistic, with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, have fantasies of unlimited success and brilliance, expect special treatment, like to exploit others, lack empathy, are filled with envy, expect people to envy them and are extremely arrogant.
You might be thinking that the above personality traits can be spotted in a person easily. With Narcissists it is extremely difficult to spot their selfish traits thanks to their special talent of manipulating people. A long term relationship with a narcissist can be extremely toxic and the below facts will help you spot a narcissist in advance.
01. They wouldn’t reveal their true selves
A narcissists skills at manipulative behaviour is unbeatable and it is quite possibly the best weapon in their arsenal used to gain control over their partners. When you first meet a narcissist, they would make you believe that they are truly darling, kind hearted people. It would take quite a while to realise their true identity and mostly by the time it would be too late to turn back. Spotting them earlier, the better.
02. They won’t accept mistakes
A narcissist would never allow you to see them as the wrong guy because in their mind they are flawless. It does not matter what the situation is, you will always be the bad guy. A narcissist will constantly make you feel guilty about yourself and make you doubt about your own qualities.
03. They don’t incorporate security into relationships
The first thing they would do in a relationship is securing their place and gain the upper hand. Then they never let their partners feel safe and secured in the relationship. They always make you feel insecure and keep you on the toes. Narcissists will use the insecurity you feel in the relationship to control you and get things done in their way.
04. They would never stop trying to one up you
Narcissists believe they are above everyone else. Even though you might want both to be equals in a relationship, they do not believe anyone is in the same level as them. One day if you come home to tell your narcissist partner about one of your achievements which took you a whole year of hard work, they will belittle your achievement by saying how they achieved something in a much lesser time. They will never let you feel accomplished and will never give value to your achievements.
05. They do not care about your problems
Generally in a healthy relationship, the problems which affect you will also affect your partner. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, they will not want to hear about your problems unless it has a direct impact on them. Narcissist wouldn’t care how bad your day was or how bad you are feeling. Once you start telling them about your problems, they will shrug off by saying they have bigger issues in hand and what you feel is not a big deal.
06. They do not listen
A narcissist will never listen to what you have to say, they will always try to shut you out in an argument so they can go ahead with their rants. How hard you try to prove them a point or explain yourself, they will never care about your opinion.
It is always what they say is final
07. They will not appreciate what you do for them
Narcissists are takers and nothing you ever do will be appreciated or will be good enough. Even if you give them the whole world, they wouldn’t still be grateful.
08. They don’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them
They didn’t buy you dinner out of the kindness of their heart… They are probably going to ask you for a world of favors afterwards. Narcissists don’t do anything without a purpose to benefit them. Giving a narcissist what they want is the last thing you want to do.
09. They will never apologies
Whenever a narcissist screw up in life or does something wrong to somebody, they will never admit it by saying sorry. They think they should not apologies because according to their perspective everything that goes wrong in the world is because of the fault of another. Even if they are at fault very clearly, 9 times out of 10 times they will become defensive by bringing up something you did many years ago.
10. They won’t let people prove them wrong
A narcissist will argue that black is white until even you begin to believe it. This is one of the biggest traps to fall in when being around a narcissist. Arguing with them is a waste of time and effort; their manipulative nature will cause you to start doubting yourself and soon you’ll start believing them.
11. They will never forgive
Narcissists consider any kind of a hurt they experience by their partner as a reason for a revenge or a counter attack. Even if you apologizes to them and try to end the conflict, narcissists see it as a proof of their superiority and may take the opportunity to further punish you for whatever you did wrong. Genuine forgiveness is not a quality you see in a narcissist.
12. They will never love you
They will only love you as long as you are beneficial for them. They will manipulate you to believe that they are madly in love with you. Once they get what they wanted from you and you are no longer beneficial to them, they will leave you. When they leave, they will make you feel guilty for ruining the relationship by finding a reason to put all the blame on you.