70-Year-Old Widow Wants To Marry Again – Posts A Newspaper AD That Went Viral

Getting back into the dating world can be strange, and intimidating, especially if it has been a long time since we were last single. But the most important lesson to remember is that it’s important to stay open to others and not judge anyone too quick.

In this funny story I came across online, that’s exactly what a 70-year-old widow had to experience. She was home when suddenly her doorbell rang… but she never expected to see who was on the other side.

Read the full hilarious joke below — and make sure you read until the punchline. Oh, if you appreciated the story, you’re more than welcome to share with others to give them a good laugh too!

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again…
She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:
“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”
The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you – you have no legs!”
The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Why not help cheer a friend up? Share this joke and help give someone a good laugh!

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See also: 5-Year-Old Asked Grandma Why She’s Single


A 5-year-old boy visited his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?”

Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”

Grandma later turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma’s minister. The minister said, “Hello son, is your grandma home?”

The little boy replied, “Yeah, she’s in the bedroom banging her boyfriend.”

The minister fainted.