Soccer has suffered a rash of sculptures gone wrong in recent years. First came Cristiano’s Ronaldo’s sneering bust, followed by Brandi Chastain’s nightmarish Hall of Fame Plaque, which literally required a name plate even with Brandi Chastain standing right next to it. So when it came time for David Beckham to be honored with his own statue outside the LA Galaxy’s Dignity Health Sports Park, there was obviously a little trepidation. But after Beckham met with the sculptor months in advance, advising a little less chin and a little less ass, he was satisfied. He even made plans for his parents and wife to fly overseas for the unveiling. It was going to be a big moment…but then James Corden got wind of it. We would explain the whole thing, but it’s just so much better (and funnier) to watch.
You should really take 10 minutes to soak in the whole clusterf—k, but if you’re in a rush/think you don’t care about soccer, here are the cliff notes: After learning that the LA Galaxy were planning to honor David Beckham with a statue, James Corden set to work with his own team of designers to build an alternate version—one with more chin, more ass, three teeth, and, yes, even a lazy eye. They then invited an blissfully unaware David Beckham to a faux unveiling of the fake statue and rolled the hidden cameras. The result, as a shocked Beckham slowly throttles up from excitement to disbelief to righteous fury, is easily one of the funniest things you’ll watch on the internet this week. In fact, the money shot alone is more than worth the price admission (which is free, admittedly.)
That’s the look of a little boy who just woke up on Christmas morning and unwrapped a sweater he thought was an XBOX. That’s the look of grown man who is hyper aware there are 10 cameras trained directly on him but just felt the pin budge in the old mind grenade. For his part, Beckham handles it all pretty well. He doesn’t go flying in studs up on the “sculptor” (actually an actor in a wig), but by the time forklift driver accidentally smashes the abomination to smithereens and James Corden comes stumbling out in tears, the only look on his face is one of pure relief and pure relief only. “Thank god for that,” he says while embracing Corden, but honestly, god has nothing to do with this atrocity.